The great Groupon debate

August 9, 2011

I just had the strangest morning. I blame Groupon.

About 500 years ago, there was this daily offer in my inbox for house cleaning. It was a great deal. And my fantasy – to have someone else clean up after my crazy family for once. But could I really invite strangers in to see the kind of dust we kick up? I’d click on the Groupon. Then I’d close it. Then I’d click on it. This went on all day.

Finally, I got up my nerve and I bought that fricking thing at about 11:00 p.m., right before the offer expired. So then I had this Groupon, but it seemed so indulgent. And it was kind of outside my comfort zone. And shouldn’t I be doing my own cleaning anyway? So I buried it in my organizer to use, “when I really need it.”

God, I’m such a dork.

Anyway, when we were on vacation last week, I started thinking of that Erma Bombeck essay that she wrote late in life about how she wished she would have relaxed more, and not put off so much and how she wishes she would have burned the candles that were too good to light but instead got put away in the closet to gather dust. That was my coupon. Oh I’d put it away, but I hadn’t forgotten about it.

So I pulled out my little Groupon and scheduled the cleaners.

I wish I’d have been suave from that moment on, but baby steps, right? I cleaned the house last night, just to be ready for the maid service. We don’t want them to see a crummy stove, right? Or dust on the window sills? Or…?

Gah. They arrived, bright and cheery this morning and I tried to write and I tried to think of other things, but all I could think about was how wild it was to have them here. And that I wanted to see them scrub that front entry way, even though I didn’t want them to see me seeing them scrub the front entryway. Finally, I spared all of us and left to run errands.

In the end, the house looks great. Better than I could have made it. And I hope I’ve grown a little bit. Maybe. Stepped outside the old comfort zone? At least I finally used the Groupon.

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